So I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships lately, how they’re defined, what they entail, and what you can get and receive out of them. It’s been really interesting to look back and see the many different types of relationships we have.
One of the most interesting things for me are these Facebook Friends that everyone has too many of. I mean, I am actually taking the time (just one simple click…but still) to say that ‘yes this person is my friend. I want them to be able to keep in touch with me and see what is going on in my life.’ The only problem is that these Facebook friends can range from my sisters and brothers to the person in one of my classes that I talk to every once in a while. There are no real electronic distinctions between the two. Honestly if I hardly know the person I’ll just contemplate if I get a positive feeling about them, and if so I accept their invite (I don’t normally add people I don’t really know). I have exactly 554 friends on Facebook but I probably only hang out with like 20 of them on a regular basis. And those ones I really don’t need to be Facebook friends with since I know what’s going on in their lives. It’s just interesting.
Now that I’m done with my Facebook rant there are other things I find intriguing about real friends. We all know that friends are extremely important to us. They make up a large part of our emotional lives. Yet different people seem to treat their friendships differently. For example, I love to share my friends. If I have someone that I love I want them to meet other people that I also love. I like them to get to know each other, and if there are differences between two friends I will share them with other friends instead. I love large groups of friends. But there are other people I know who seem to hoard their friendships. It’s not that I think this is bad; it’s just that I don’t understand this. People hoard their friends when they cannot mix friendships with others and groups. They have different groups that they hang out with and it’s not that they can’t have their friends mix, they just don’t think to do it, or would prefer not to mix friendships. This just frustrates me because I don’t understand why they wouldn’t want to share their friendships, and it can cause feelings of exclusion.
Anyway I don’t want to ruffle anyone’s feathers with this. It’s just something I noticed and have been thinking about lately.
3 comments:
Interesting post Charles. You see, I am a more extreme you. I not only want to share my friends, I want them to marry each other. haha.
This post really has got me thinking. I think I am more like the people that annoy you, but i think it is more out of fear that my friends won't get along and like each other than anything else. Or maybe i act differently with different people and so I wouldn't know how to act combining them all. We'll have to analyze me next time we see each other. :) It was great to see you last night and by the way, I meant to tell you that your outfit was cool. You looked good.
I think, like Jinjer, I'm like those people that has a hard time mixing friends. I think its because I don't do well in big groups to begin with, I don't like them. When I get into the "mixing groups of friends" mode I feel like I have to make everyone like each other and entertain everyone so that they are happy. The fear of one group not liking another group freaks me out. So I just keep them separate. I'm not saying this is right or wrong. Just saying this is how I deal with that anxiety.
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