Saturday, February 21, 2009

What Kind of Bread is This?



So often, when I'm bored, I try to think about what it is that I could post here on my blog. I usually come up with a great idea- The only problem is I'm usually not at home and by the time I get there I have completely forgotten what it was I wanted to say- This is not the case today. I have, however, altered what I was originally going to say.
Originally I wanted to rave about my favorite bread. I love Grandma Sycamore's Bread. It far exceeds the quality and taste of other breads. Even those that are cheaper knock-offs of the bread, like the Macey's Farm Bread or others, can never reach the quality that good old Granny Sycamore has produced. But, like I said, that was my original intent. It wasn't till I was staring at my fresh new loaf and admiring it's squishy yet light fluffiness that I realized there is a flaw in this bread!!!
Sure it tastes good and sure it's like heaven on the mouth, but how can they get away with labeling this bread as "home-maid"? What does that even mean? First I thought that it was queer that they would have that dash, or dot, or diamond in the middle of the word. Isn't homemaid one word? Well, it turns out it's not even a real word-I know, it's shocking! The correct word is "homemade" or "home-made" the use of "maid" in this sense would be completely wrong...unless it was intentional.
I've decided that it was clear that sweet innocent GS (that's Grandma Sycamore) was trying to pull one on the American public. She knew that most ignorant people would look over her slight misprint in a name and assume that this bread was made at home, or locally. Those that would question could easily think that it was just a cuter form of the word and therefore more marketable. It's only those who really want to look into something- probably more than they should- my case in point- that could see the harsh undertones that this word produces. It's clear to me know that GS is making a statement with this word. Maids are female servants- we're not a gender biased nation so she's referring to both men and women- servants and the lowest of the low- who is often referred to as a servant? Slaves! GS is making a statement for slavery. She wants the old ways of mass producing to return so that she can profit more by reducing production cost. This is not a single instance where these statements are being made in food. Look at Mrs. Butterworth? and Aunt Jamima. There is a conspiracy in the food industry to subtly bring the issue of slavery back into our nation, and I will not stand for it.

That is why (and it pains me to say it) I am boycotting Grandma Sycamore's Bread and all other products that I can somehow relate to Slavery. I will not, no I cannot stand for this kind of treatment in our country! My hope is that all American's all over the world will gather together and rise up in defiance of these corporations that are trying to change our way of life! Stand free Americans! Stand Free!

6 comments:

Jinjer said...

Oh Charles, you are so cheeky!! I can't wait to come to your apartment and see your next loaf of Grandma Sycamore's bread sitting there half eaten! :)

Louise Christine said...

haha you are so cheeky, Jinj is right! That is great. in the first sentence you forgot a "'m" on I'm though. Love you bra!

Lou

Charles Donaldson said...

Fixed it. Thanks Lou.

Julianne said...

Ha ha.

Fred

Julianne said...

Louse called you bra.

Fred

Julianne said...

Ha ha Louse. I meant Louise.

Fred